Cleaning shame is a common struggle for many, especially for neurodiverse people who may find tidiness and organisation particularly challenging. Understanding that your worth is not defined by the state of your home is the first step toward overcoming this shame.
We thought we would share a few practical strategies to help you manage cleaning tasks and reduce those feelings of embarrassment.
1. Embrace Self-Compassion
This is at the top of the list for a reason—it is without a doubt the most important thing you can do. It is okay to find cleaning difficult! Many people experience similar challenges; you are not alone. Do not believe the Instagram photos you see of perfect rooms; most often, the image behind the camera is very different! Practise self-compassion by acknowledging your efforts rather than focusing on any shortcomings. Remember, a messy space does not reflect your character or abilities.
2. Set Small, Achievable Goals
Large cleaning tasks can feel very overwhelming. Break them down into smaller, manageable steps. For example, instead of cleaning the entire kitchen, start with washing the dishes. Celebrate these small victories, as they can build momentum and provide a sense of accomplishment. A helpful technique is to never leave a room empty-handed—each time you leave, take something with you to put back where it belongs.
3. Establish a Routine
Creating a consistent cleaning schedule can sometimes help manage tasks without feeling overwhelmed. This only works if you feel able to stick to a regular approach, which is not always useful for everyone, so it’s important to know yourself and how your brain works. If routines work for you, dedicate specific times for cleaning each day or week. Use timers or reminders to help you stick to the schedule. A good tip is to set a timer for just five minutes—remember, five minutes is better than nothing!
4. Use Visual Aids
Visual aids such as checklists or visual schedules pinned on the wall can be really helpful. Break down tasks into steps and check them off as you go. This not only helps in keeping track of what needs to be done but also provides a visual representation of your progress.
5. Make Cleaning Fun
Gamifying cleaning tasks can make them more enjoyable. For example, see how much you can accomplish in the time it takes to play three songs, or listen to a podcast while you clean. Making the process more enjoyable can help reduce the sense of it being a chore.
6. Body Doubling
If you find it difficult to clean alone, try body doubling. This involves having someone with you while you clean—whether in person or virtually via a phone call. The presence of another person, even if they are not actively helping, can boost your motivation and help you stay on task.
7. Declutter Regularly
Clutter can exacerbate feelings of overwhelm and shame, and it only makes cleaning more difficult. Try to declutter by donating or disposing of items you no longer need. Start with a small area and gradually expand on it. A less cluttered space can significantly reduce the cleaning workload and create a more calming environment.
8. Seek Support and Community
Don’t hesitate to ask for help! This could be in-person, hands-on help, or even body doubling. Additionally, joining online communities or support groups can provide valuable advice and emotional support. Sharing experiences and tips with others can reduce feelings of isolation and shame.
9. Use Tools and Technology
There are numerous tools and apps designed to assist with organisation and cleaning. Apps like Tody or Sweepy can help schedule and remind you of cleaning tasks. Using these tools can simplify the process and help maintain a tidy space.
10. Create a Positive Environment
Personalise your cleaning space with things that motivate you, such as playing your favourite music or setting rewards for completing tasks. Positive reinforcement can make cleaning feel less like a chore and more like an achievable goal.
11. Focus on Self-Care
Cleaning should not come at the expense of your well-being. Ensure you are also taking time for self-care activities that help you relax and recharge. This balance is crucial in maintaining both your physical space and mental health.
Remember, progress is more important than perfection! Every small step counts towards creating a more comfortable living space.
These are just a few of the strategies we cover in our Planning and Organising course, where we delve deeper into methods to help all individual needs.